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Pride in our people

At first direct, we’re proud to be a diverse and inclusive community of people.

We’re also proud to have built a bank that revolves around people – our own team and our customers.

As longstanding supporters of Leeds Pride, we will of course make some noise and join the celebrations each year. But we also want to share the everyday realities of being members of the LGBT+ community.

#EverydayPride is so much more than rainbows and glitter. It’s real life, 24/7.

Thank you to Scott, Paul and Orla, members of True Colours – our Pride Network here at first direct – for opening up about their highs and lows.

Listen in to their stories below…

Scott’s story:

School days, stereotypes and how to stop caring what people think.

Video Transcript

Hiya, you alright?

Interviewer: Yes. How are you doing?

Yeah, not too bad. It’s a bit nervewracking, isn’t it!

Yeah, I’ll give it a go…

I’m Scott Wood, I’m 32 and I am a Team Manager at first direct.

Quickfire questions

3 words to describe yourself?

Err, bit weird. Umm, chatty. Err, friendly.

Guilty pleasure song?

Umm, none of them I feel guilty about but I’m listening to a lot of Amy Winehouse at the minute.

Tell us a bit more about yourself…

I live with my partner Jacob.

We’ve lived together now for maybe two years. So we moved in together right at the very start of lockdown.

We’ve both got an allotment together, so we grow us own fruit and veg.

We really don’t have a clue what we’re doing, we’ve just planted loads of seeds in the hope that something grows.

What was it like growing up knowing you were gay?

I’ve not really grown up around many gay people.

But it were always quite evident that I was gay.

The word ‘gay’, if it ever came up in a conversation I’d shriek and I’d disappear because I just didn’t want to have that conversation with anybody. I didn’t want anybody talking about it anywhere near me.

You try and put it towards the back of your mind and when it’s, kind of, you’re taunted with it constantly. People pointing it out that that’s your main difference…

So, yeah, I got bullied quite a lot when I were at school for being gay.

When was your turning point?

I think I probably took control more when I left college and went to university, because I took that opportunity as a fresh start.

I went to make new friends and I just thought… It’s a new me. Nobody knows any of my history or anything like that and I can now present myself the way that I want to be.

I left things behind that I didn’t necessarily want any more. Like, I didn’t want the negativity from my school experience.

What are the stereotypes you come across now?

The main ones that stand out to me is that because you’re gay you’re always, always absolutely happy all the time.

What would be your advice to your 15-year-old self?

I probably wouldn’t listen anyway but I’d tell myself to really stop caring what other people think.

I know I wouldn’t listen though, because people told me that at the time and I just never took any advice.

When you finally start to open up about it, people do listen and people want to know about it.

The more people I opened up to about that, the better it felt.

Talking is powerful

#EverydayPride

Paul’s story:

From lockdown break-up to breaking point, and getting better at dealing with mental health.

Video Transcript

Interviewer: how are you doing?

Alright…

So, I’m Paul Robinson, I’m 35. I work for first direct.

Quickfire questions

3 words to describe yourself?

Ahhh, the worst questions ever!

Very outgoing, although that’s probably… we’ll just use outgoing.

Chatty.

Probably fun?! I don’t know, it depends, other people might disagree. But, yeah… fun.

Secret crush?

Hmm, yeah.

No, I can’t tell you my secret crush because then that wouldn’t be a secret any more, so…

Most annoying personality trait?

I’ve got a very loud laugh.

*Laughs out loud*

Very loud.

Can we talk about lockdown?

No! Must we talk about lockdown?!

Umm, yeah. It’s been a bit of a wild ride.

I went into the first lockdown in a relationship and came out of it single. So, take from that what you will.

How did you deal with the break-up?

Because we kind of came out of that first lockdown and went straight into summer and we could go outside and do things and see people…

I kind of pushed a lot of the stuff that I hadn’t dealt with during lockdown to one side and didn’t really deal with it.

*deep breath* …trying not to get upset about it.

When did you realise you really weren’t ok?

Errr, back end of September when I kind of stepped away from work.

I remember the day quite well, because, it was a Wednesday.

I was on the phone to my Team Manager and I was just crying down the phone.

When she said to me: ‘Are you ok?’

And I think just from the fact I couldn’t get my words out, it was evident that I wasn’t ok.

What happened once you opened up?

The next few weeks I started kind of speaking to people and got some professional help.

Talking definitely, definitely helped.

It wasn’t just professional as well, it was some of my closest friends and they know who they are.

They really kind of got me through those darker, darker weeks and months.

What advice would you give to anyone who can relate to how you felt?

Don’t sit and suffer in silence, speak to someone.

I have been in that place where I’ve felt that I couldn’t talk to anyone.

It honestly is just a massive, massive difference just to get the words out and say things.

Talking is powerful

#EverydayPride

Orla’s story:

Keeping a diary, coming out and feeling at home in the LGBT+ community.

Video Transcript

Interviewer: Hello

Hello

My name is Orla Moore, I’m 20 years old. I’m a Customer Service Representative for the Hamilton branch at first direct.

Tell us about yourself

I’m definitely an animal lover, I’ve had pets all my life and I don’t think I could ever live without having some sort of animal in my house.

I’ve got 5 guinea pigs at the moment!

Guilty pleasure song?

Ooh, Shallow by Lady Gaga.

When did you realise you were bisexual?

I always kept a diary growing up because that was sort of how I vented about things because I couldn’t actually talk to anyone about the situation I was in, because I was so frightened.

And I remember it word for word, and I literally said in it…

I know I like boys and I’ve had crushes on boys in school. But I also find women attractive as well. And I don’t really know what that means.

And I can remember writing it because I was so confused.

The house I grew up in, we weren’t taught about gay people. So I didn’t actually know that it was something you could do.

How did you find dealing with that on your own?

I was quite depressed.

I couldn’t keep it to myself any more. I was so weighed down because it felt like such a burden.

And I remember texting one of my friends. I said to her: ‘I need to talk to you tomorrow, it’s serious…’

I said to her: ‘Look, for the past couple of years I’ve been so confused. I think I’m bisexual.’

And she was like: *nodding* ‘Right…’

She was so nonchalant about it. And I was like: ‘that’s not the reaction I was expecting’.

It was really nice to have that relief. It was like I could breathe again.

What advice would you give to your younger self now?

I know it’s really hard to do it but you need to tell someone.

I mean I know exactly how it feels and looking back it’s the one thing I wish I’d done. I wish I’d said to anyone, I need help.

And it’s so hard to do because I know how frightening it is and I just, I wish I’d asked someone for help sooner. But I was just too scared.

What’s it like for you being part of the LGBTQ+ community?

Everyone I’ve met they want to support you and they want to make sure you’re happy and comfortable with who you are.

Most people in the LGBT community have been through the same thing.

And even if they haven’t been through the same thing, they know people who have been through what you’ve been through.

They understand.

Talking is powerful

#EverydayPride

We know we’re ‘just a bank’. But we’re a bank that cares deeply about people – it’s always been that way, since 1989.

So we hope these stories help to open your eyes to everyday LGBT+ realities, and encourage you to listen to those around you. There are many, many voices yet to be heard, understood and embraced.

If you’re struggling yourself, we hope these stories help you find the confidence to open up to your friends, family, colleagues, a charity, a helpline, a support group and/or a loved one too.

Below are just a few places you can find trained people, ready to help you make sense of what and how you’re feeling:

Switchboard LGBT+ helpline Opens an overlay [Will show a security message first]: 0300 330 0630 (Open 10am to 10pm every day). All of Switchboard’s volunteers identify as LGBT+, everything is confidential and they’ll make sure you finish your call feeling you have options.

Samaritans Opens an overlay [Will show a security message first]: 116 123 (Open 24/7, 365 days a year). Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. You can also call the Samaritans Welsh Language Line on 0808 164 0123 (7pm to 11pm every day).

The Mix Opens an overlay [Will show a security message first] support for under 25s: 0808 808 4994 (Open Sunday to Friday, 2pm to11pm) The UK’s leading support service for young people can help you take on any challenge you’re facing - from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs.

For more mental health helpline information, take a look at the Mind website Opens an overlay [Will show a security message first].

Opening up to others about how you’re feeling can be hard. So if you’re not quite ready to talk to someone yet, there are lots of other helpful pages on the Mind website that can help you prepare for that conversation in the future.

Remember, all of our people found a weight was lifted when they started being more open about how they were feeling.

Talking is powerful